Evidence Leadership Group

Let me ask you something: when you got promoted to sergeant, did you think the stripes would make people listen? Yeah, me too. Turns out, we were both wrong.

I recently sat down with Dr. Michelle Milam, Chief of Police for Maryland’s Motor Vehicle Administration and a retired MPD lieutenant with over 37 years on the job. What she shared about leadership hit different because it came from someone who’s lived it, not just studied it in a classroom.

Dr. Milam didn’t plan on a 37-year career. Like most of us, she joined thinking she’d jump straight into forensics, but someone lied to her, LOL. Instead, she took it one day at a time, and those days turned into decades. When I asked her what shaped her leadership style, her answer was simple but powerful: “I wanted to be the type of leader that I didn’t have.”

Think about that for a second. How many of us have worked under leaders who made us think, “If I ever get promoted, I’m doing this differently”? Dr. Milam actually did it. She paid attention to what worked and what didn’t, then intentionally became the leader she wished she’d had when she was coming up.

Here’s the hard truth she learned early on: rank doesn’t make people respect you. Fresh out of her sergeant promotion, she was ready to change the world. Reality checked her fast. “You have to build rapport,” she told me. “Respect is earned.” That realization forced her to develop real leadership skills, not just rely on the authority her position gave her.

And speaking of sergeants, Dr. Milam believes it’s the hardest position in law enforcement. You’re still figuring out who you are as a leader while managing people, handling crises, and navigating department politics. Her advice? Don’t rush it. More time as an officer means more maturity when you finally pin on those stripes.

One story she shared, early in her career, an officer asked to leave work to handle something at home. She let him go. He was killed that night. She beat herself up about it for a while, wondering if she should’ve made him stay. But the next morning, she showed up anyway. “I have a job to do,” she said. “And in his memory, I gotta be here to support everyone else.” That’s leadership when it’s hard.

Dr. Milam also emphasized something we don’t talk about enough: recognizing the informal leaders on your team. You know who I’m talking about—the officer without rank that everyone naturally follows. Sometimes it’s the veteran with 20 years on. Sometimes it’s the rookie making decisions beyond their years. Smart leaders identify these people and work with them, not against them.

In today’s climate, with all the political noise and social media drama, her advice is straightforward: don’t let distractions change your day-to-day operations. Focus on your people and your mission. Practice what you preach. Make human decisions. And above all, build trust and credibility with your team.

Because here’s the thing: if your people don’t trust you, you’ll struggle every single day. Leadership isn’t about the rank on your collar. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and being the leader your team needs—even when it’s hard.

What leadership lesson resonates most with you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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